Wednesday, 21 July 2010
doing and not doing, again
Firstly, because of the need for food. If you haven't had enough food, and you make yourself sit down and do something, what results can send you into a further sense of hopelessness and futility. The paint or marks seem lifeless. The image screams - you see? More of this rubbish. Give it up. Though I do believe that eight out of ten times you do need to simply stop dithering and start doing, there's this edge to it that can suck the life out of what comes out.
Secondly, I, at least, need space somehow, before I can draw or paint. Perhaps it's the space that simply forces action, in the end, out of having nowhere else to run to. But it has also felt to be more than that. In certain environments I've been unable to resist the need to draw. Living in the Himalayas, for example, drawings started appearing because I simply could not resist the shape of monsoon clouds over the valley any longer. As well as novelty, and intense natural beauty, however, at that time I also had new space - teaching only two hours a day, and that quite often cancelled. For a while I felt guilty that I wasn't earning my keep more diligently. Then it began to dawn on me that space was ok. That I didn't need to be harried and pressed into every tiny moment of every day. And then out came the drawings.